Saying the uncomfortable thing is usually the kind option, and almost nobody does it, because the discomfort arrives immediately and the kindness turns up months later.
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The alternative is deciding on someone else's behalf what they can handle, which is a worse thing to do to an adult.
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something you reckon. a gripe, a hunch, a hill you will die on. serious or not.
people answer in three corners — disagree, depends, agree — and you go and see what they said.
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what all this does to your head, and what to do about it.